of Boldness and Black

She who must not be tamed

‘Rumour Has It’- Man vs. Hoe


So, unless you live under a rock deeper than mine (which is impossible), you’ve heard about Beyoncé’s Lemonade album.

It is art. Just pure, beautiful art. As a lover and writer of poetry, I was SUPER thrilled about the whole concept, and the amazing way it was put together. I’ll admit, I think I was truly converted to a member of her Queendom. I understand the hype about her now, she deserves it.

HOWEVER my problem here has absolutely nothing to do with the album. It is the way in which the ‘Beyhive’ reacted to the ‘Becky’ thing.

Classic sexism: go find and shame and ‘drag’ the hoe who slept with him (whether I believe that rumor or not is irrelevant). The point is, her fans went and tracked down a woman who allegedly slept with Beyoncé’s partner of OVER FIFTEEN YEARS, leaving the partner shade-free. Honestly, the only memes I saw about Jay-Z were making fun of the fact that she exposed him.

Jay-Z was condemned for being caught and exposed, not for actually cheating.

Assuming the rumours are true, is tracking down the woman who slept with her man the best way to defend Beyoncé? Because women are supposed to have the basic morality from which men are apparently exempt? So, questioning and condemning the man who actually betrayed her didn’t quite cross people’s minds? She had a partnership with Jay-Z, naahht with Becky/Whateverthefuckhernameis. Sure, this chick KNEW he had a wife, so basic morality wasn’t quite ruling her life, but she’s not the one who cheated. Jay-Z is. Are we scared of him? Are we scared of actually shaming a heterosexual man for his sexual conduct?

I guess so. So, we go to what we know. Shaming women for having sex. Ooh yes, we do that all the time and it’s a good story so let’s do that!

C’mon guys. If women are expected to not sleep with already-committed men, then already-committed men should be expected not to sleep around.

What do we think equality is?beyonce-lemonade-07


“Give It 2 U”- Thicke ft. Kendrick

Oooh, this beat. Dayyum, it sure does get me in the party mood. It came up on my iPod this morning as I sipped tea in my car, and I was slightly amused at some of the lyrics. So, grab your cup and join me!


So he starts off talking about how he’s got “a gift for ya” and guess what? Oh, it’s his penis. Okay cool. That’s nice. And then in the chorus, states:

I wanna give it to you, tonight

and make everything you fantasize come true..[…]

I’ll make you so so so amazing,

I’ll give it to you

Now, I dunno about y’all but I’d be really excited if a guy I was feeling at a club was making these kinds of promises. I’d be like AIIGHT and be allll about that. And so we have the 2nd verse:

I like that baby […]

yeah shake it like that, girl

I bought lace for ya

I’ll put it on ya

So I can come and take it off ya

And get off to ya

Ummmm… anti-climactic OR NAH???

No but imagine this, though. You think you’re in for this amazing night of mind-blowing sex and then he basically wants you to shake your lace-covered booty in front of him so he can “get off to ya”? Oh wow this is my fantasy HOW DID YOU GUESS???

That sounds more like your fantasy.

He looks like he’s having a great time

Anyway, it reminded me of how central male pleasure is to the internet’s idea of sex. Yes, by all means, the guy deserves to have a good time. But so does the girl. So does every human in a consensual sexual encounter. But is it reeeeeally to just stand there as a guy jerks off to you like you’re a porn picture? Hmm, maybe for some. Or maybe this could be kinky foreplay between two people who are in a relationship. But the subject of this song sounds more like a “stranger”, and if you’re a guy who takes a random girl home SO THAT YOU CAN JERK OFF WHILE SHE STANDS THERE you have some serious reflecting to do. I’d be so mad. So, so mad. And I’d tell ALL MY FRIENDS to swerve you because I care about my friends.

I acknowledge, as an aspiring songwriter myself, that this could have just been the only thing that rhymed. But, this is just something to think about. Women deserve to have a good time, too. We’re not just there to entertain you to the point of orgasm. We want sex, too! WE WANT ORGASMS, TOO! And, although 90% of the porn industry would disagree, female pleasure is just as important as male pleasure.

Here’s to satisfying sexual encounters for all!

Much love and happiness,

Cee xx


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